Good morrow, fellow tigers! This year is off to a wild start because we all know that a pandemic and more fires could only be topped off by an, uh, interesting presidential debate and election. The pool, of course, stays our highest priority.

Unfortunately, due to current school policy amidst the pandemic, access to the roof is restricted to school staff only. We still have important topics to discuss, though, so we’ve implemented a system of Distance Pooling. We kindly request all pool members purchase a kiddie pool, a waterproof case for their device, and snorkeling gear so meetings can be conducted underwater as usual, via Zoom. Meetings will be Thursday nights at midnight to best align with our member’s schedules.

If you’re new to Analy this year, welcome! Pool passes are being offered at a discounted rate since we cannot offer the same experience. It’s still worth it! Please contact your favorite senior to purchase one. 

We are also proud to announce that we’re working on the construction of a hot tub! Get your friends to purchase some more pool passes to support the effort. On an entirely unrelated note, the heater for the main pool has broken again. We won’t be discussing that here, though.

“Why would we care about the new hot tub if we can’t even get to the roof?” you ask. Well, we’re working hard on sorting out the logistics to what we’re calling Hybrid-Electronic Learning and Pooling (HELP), so we can return to our normal festivities as best as possible. The very basics of this simple schedule are as follows:

• Passholders will be split into five different groups, conveniently named Alpha, 2, C, Theta (θ), and V
• Groups are consecutively assigned to days of the work week
• If you are feeling ill, you must attend via Distance Pooling
• Group order is reversed if the current AQI is above 50
• Because the pool is rectangular, group θ will only be allowed to enter when they are feeling (a)cute
• Groups are all shifted forward one day (with V now on Monday) if Zoom or Aeries crashes the week prior
  • If both Zoom and Aeries crash the week prior, groups are shifted backward one day

We’re hoping to get clearance for HELP soon, we’ll have more updates at the next meeting.  Stay safe out there!