“When you wear rose-colored glasses, all the red flags in a relationship just look like flags.”

• Room 208

“Why am I the endoplasmic reticulum of this friendship?”

• Room 14

“Are you really gonna talk to the queen in the ‘tú’ form?”

• Village 1

“The Amazon is a voluptuous forest”

• Room 14

“Only smart people can echolocate”

• L1

“How do you pronounce the wax drawing implements?”

• Room 17

“My mind is like a steel trap. Actually, it’s more like a steel colander”

• Room 109

“My life is like a giant participation ribbon”

• Main Hall

“Aw, you look less like an egg in that photo. Good for you”

• Library

“What’s the deal with vacuums? Why do they have the whole double ‘u’ thing happening?”

• Upstairs Hallway

“Today’s proverb: when the horse kicks you in the face, kick it back”

• Room 208