Wassup pals? It’s that time of year again, Valentine’s Day, the day that makes couples think they are better than everyone, and reminds single people that couples are annoying. Despite that, it can be nice to get gifts for your significant other or friends. Here are a few ideas for how to show that special person you care.

1. Flowers ‒ Because everyone loves carrying dying plants around all day. The human race has once again proved its domination over the weak and insignificant carnation!
2. Your heart ‒ No literally, give them your actual heart, right from your chest. Or, if you’d like to be symbolic, get them the heart of another person or animal (Perhaps their sworn enemy?) and give that to them.
3. Chocolates ‒ Because everyone loves chocolate. If you don’t, you are dead to us.
4. A singing Valentine – Because the best way to show your love is mortifying that special person in front of their whole class.
5. A picnic ‒ Who doesn’t love being outside in early February? Pretend you’re getting hypothermia and try to cuddle (or don’t pretend because let’s be real, it’s freezing)
6. Candles and rose petals ‒ Nothing says this will be hard to clean up like wax and tiny pieces of flowers.
7. Matching outfits ‒ Find out what your special someone will be wearing and copy it exactly. It’s not stupid, it’s cool!
8. Just hang out ‒ Nothing says you care like watching TV until you fall asleep. Acceptable shows include The Backyardigans, end of list.

Just don’t get one of those dumb looking balloon bouquets. That’s right, we said it, balloons on sticks are stupid. It’s string or nothing! Have fun, don’t be rude to singles, don’t strangle couples, and in the wise words of Tina Fey: “Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day to us all!”