Happy New Year, everyone. Finals are over, last semester’s grades are locked in, and the holidays are over. It’s time to start anew!

It’s not too early to think about Valentine’s Day, fellow procrastinators! Are you planning something special for that special someone this year (besides a singing valentine, of course)? Are you not sure the proper amount of romance for Valentine’s Day? Why not buy a floating heart candle for this year’s poolside Valentine’s celebration? The warm spa, filled with rowdy teenagers, will ensure a big gesture and still guarantee exactly zero minutes alone with that special someone. Reserve your spot now!

It’s winter, so please be aware of the winter rules. The temperature occasionally drops below 32 degrees, which means you should be aware of your environment and look out for icy spots. The pool can freeze over, but despite what you’ve heard, ice skating is NOT allowed. The pool will be closed on those days and security will be present, so please leave your skates at home. The Elsa cult will not be allowed to have meetings on the frozen pool surface; any members caught so will be forcibly removed and their pool membership revoked. The pool’s leadership will never fall into your hands!

On a related note, the pool is looking for donations of firewood. Do you have a large amount of firewood you aren’t exactly sure what to do with after the holidays? Our fire pits need fuel for warmth, marshmallows, and smoke signals to last the winter. Consider helping us out—every bit helps (no wrapping paper, please)! Contact Bill for more details.